Crystal Meth Goes to Arcata
by TorstenderMilch
Summary: You all know my OC, Crystal Meth. Well, what would happen if she fell asleep in a ditch and woke up in Humboldt County? Pony on Earth. R
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Mething Around**

It was a beautiful day in Ponyville, once you got past the intense heat. It was no less than 115 degrees Fahrenheit, and it made everyone absolutely miserable. Almost nopony was outside, save for a few businessponies and the occasional stoner, the only two kinds of ponies who didn't care about the heat. Which brings us to the story. One of those stoners was flying around, screaming obscenities at everypony she finds, and flying away. She was a sky blue pegasus with a crazy pink mane, and cutie mark of a marijuana leaf. She was flying around Sugarcube Corner, when she was stopped by a rather shrill voice calling out to her.

"Crystal! Crystal, wait up!" it cried. The pegasus stopped in midair, and went to where she thought the voice was coming from. She ran into another sky blue pegasus with a rainbow colored mane.

"Hey, watch it!" the rainbow pegasus called, looking over to see who it was. Her face then changed to a look of distress and annoyance. "Oh, it's you, Crystal."

"Yep, it's me!" said the pink maned pegasus, Crystal. "Odd running into you, Rainbow Dash! Up here in the sky... Why is the sky pink? I know that my mane is pink and my coat is sky blue, but I've never heard of it the other way around! Let me check-Woah! My hoof is pink! Look, Rainbow Dash!"

"Uh, you're not even looking anywhere near your hoof..." Rainbow informed, just confused.

"Sure I am! It's right here!" Crystal said, looking nowhere near where her hoof was.

"Just leave her, Rainbow. She's only high," Rainbow Dash said, turning and leaving Crystal to do as she pleased. In other words, go back to chasing random ponies and screaming in their faces.

Crystal woke up in a ditch, her head pounding, and she was struggling to see anything. _'It's night, that's why I can't see,'_ she thought to herself, realizing that it was indeed nighttime in Ponyville. She got up, and sat back down, her head pounding.

"Oooohhhhh! That hurts!" She lay back down, thinking that she'd crash here until the hangover was gone. She fell asleep almost immediately after laying down.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Where am I?**

Crystal woke up in a ditch, as she had left herself. But something was different: the ditch wasn't dirt like the one in Ponyville. In fact, she didn't know what it was made of!

"That's odd..." she thought aloud. She got up and looked around. She couldn't recognize anything here. The buildings looked a cross between Canterlot and their own thing, the roads were made out of the same materials as the ditch, there were these multicolored wheeled creatures running on them, and the ponies...wait a minute! What ponies? There were none. Instead, there were these hairy, weird looking things. There was one thing Crystal recognized, though: the scent of marijuana smoke. She tried to follow it, but couldn't. _'That could only mean one thing: It's coming from everywhere!'_ she thought.

"I love this place already!" she screamed, bringing attention to herself. But she didn't care. Hopefully, she could find someone who dealt drugs for her.

She walked over to one of the hairy things, who was obviously smoking a joint and said, "Excuse me! Where can I get on of those?"

The hairy thing was silent for a minute, then burst into laughter. "You... you-don't know where to get dis!?" it said, identifying it as a male. "How long you been here?"

"As far as I know, about 3 minutes," Crystal answered truthfully.

"Oh...Well, follow me, and I'll show you!" said the hairy guy, and he stood up, stomped out his joint, and led Crystal to one of the wheeled creatures.

"What is that thing!?" Crystal asked, panicking slightly.

"Relax, it's just a car!" answered the hairy guy. "Damn, foo. You must really love yo' weed in order to freak out at a common sight like these!"

"Common!? I've never seen one of those in my life!" Crystal exclaimed, bringing unwanted attention to herself and the hairy guy. And by that, I of course mean the cops.  
"Where you from, girl?"

"Ponyville."

"Ponyville-Oh, wait!" he started. "I'm not the guy you exactly want, I'll just hook you up with weed. You want my friend, Jacob and his sister! But after we get you some weed. Get in da car."

"Car?"

"Yeah. Da ting dat yo' apparently afraid of."

"Oh, that thing!"

"Yeah, 'dat ting'."

Crystal got in the car and closed the door, looking at her hoof for the first time. Or, I shouldn't say hoof, because it wasn't. Instead, it had five long bendy things attached to a flat thingy.

"Sweet Celestia! Where are my hooves!?"

"What hooves?" the thing asked.

"The one's I've had since I was born!" Crystal screamed, panicking again.

"I think Jacob'll explain all dis shit to you when we get there. But until den, just go wit' me. I'll take ya ta ma supplier," he said, and he took the wheel, getting them the hell out of there before the cops from earlier could get there.


End file.
